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1T IS 5UCH A BEEUTIFUL SUNDAY MERN1NG 1T MAKES ME WANT 2 BE CATH0LIK
AGANE JUST S0 1 C0ULD PUT 0N A PA5TEL PANT5U1T & G0 2 MA5S. HAVE
D0NUTS & C0FFEE 1N THE RECTORY. I D0 TH1NK IT"S A FUNNY RELIGI0N BUT
N1CE U KN0W, EVEN 5PECIAL1ZED WITH ALL THE SAINTS. BUT 1 KN0W THERE
ISN"T A FUCK!!  & I KN0W THERE 15 N0 SATAN!! N0 EVIL, JUST WHAT AUGU5T1NE
CALLED "THE VICE 0F THE EYE" THAT REFERED 2 THE PR0BLEMS 1N H0W MEN
PERC1EVE THE WERLD. WELL, MEN!! CRAZY M1SERY TRYING 2 KEEP THEIR PEN15
QUIET!! FUNNY. "HEY MR. ED, QU1ET D0WN THERE, STAY 1N UR DRAWER"

I W0ULD PL0P MY FEET UP 0N THE TABEL
& BUMP MY P1NK FUZZY SLIPPERS T0GETHER 
IN A SHAFT 0F SUN, SENDING B1TS 0F 5PARKLING 
DUST TUMBLING L1KE L0ST STARS IN THE TEERS 
C0NFU51NG MY EYES ~ 0NE FOR EVERY KI55 
THAT MADE THE NIGHT A LITTEL DARKER, 
MADE THE DAWN BLAZE 
W1TH A BR1GHTER SHAME 
REMIND1NG ME 
0F MY BEEUTY 
BUY BLIND1NG ME!!

0H, MY DREEM AB0UT ADAM!! 1T"5 VERY WEIRD. I KEPT GETT1NG UP ALL NIGHT.
W0KE UP VERY THIRSTY!! BUT 1 D0N"T KN0W, IN ALL MY DREEMS AB0UT HIM, WE
SPEEK VERY LITTEL. AW, BUT HE ALWAY5 HAS THAT BEEUTIFUL SMIEL!! BUT
DUZN"T TALK & I5 KINDA 5HY!! 0H, EXCEPT FOR THE 0NE TIME HE WA5 TRY1NG
2 HAVE MY BURNED ALIVE!! 0H, & THE 0NE TIME WHEN I WA5 1N HI5
CHEMISTRY CLA55 & 1 AM THE M0ST IMMACULATE 5TUDENT AL1VE, I"D 5EE H1M
RUNN1NG UP & D0WN THE H1LL5 0UT51DE THINK1NG HE D1DN"T NEED 2 BE IN
THERE BUT HE ENDED UP HAVING 2 C0ME UV R MY H0U5E FER MY N0TES & I
TALKED 2 MADGE 0N THE F0NE & MADE H1M SIT THERE & A5 HE L1STENED
2 ME, HE 5TARTED 2 UNDERST& THAT 1 WAS VERY D1FFERENT THAN HE
TH0UGHT!! & HE FUCKED UP BUY TREET1NG ME L1KE SUM GEEKETTE!! FUNNY. J0EY
THE GEEK. YEEH, & I TH0UGHT IT WAS WE1RD CUZ I NEVER T00K CHEM15TRY.
& TO  DAY5 LATER, 0N THE NEXUS C-64 AT 5CH00L, 1 LEERNED THAT HE
WR0TE H15 F1R5T 50NG IN A CHEM1STRY CLASS. FUNNY.

1 CAN"T WAIT 2 G0 BACK 2 CITY C0UNC1L MEETING5 AGANE. I"M G01NG 2 BE
PART 0F A GR0UP 2 PETISHUN FOR THEM 2 RAI5E THE M1NIMUM WAGE HERE,
F0LL0WING BALT1MERE"S EXAMPEL. I WANT 2 MEET THAT 0NE D00D ALTH0UGH 1
CAN TELL 1 W1G H1M 0UT FR0M TWENTY FEET. MEETING HIM MIGHT BE 2 MUCH.
5EE|! & HE NEVER EVEN HEERD ME 5PEEK!1! 1 CAN UNDER5T& A D00D WETTING
H15 B00TS FR0M HEER1NG ME TALK W1TH0UT BREETH1NG FER FIVE H0URS BUT TH1S
GUY NEVER EVEN 5AW ME GRAB MY TATA"S IN PUBLIK 0R HEERD ME CUS5IN" L1KE
A SA1LOR J0!! BUT HE IS S0 CUTE & 1 C0ULD HAVE 5000 MUCH FUN WITH HIM 1
CAN TELL. 

}                ___                          (_)
}              _/XXX\
}             /XXXXXX\_ <-- MT. B1FF1NGT0N                 __
} __    __   /X XXXX XX\     MT. K1BO (SHORT3R    _       /XX\__      ___
}   \__/  \_/__       \ \    TH4N B1FF'Z) ----> _/X\__   /XX XXX\____/XXX\
} \  ___   \/  \_      \ \               __   _/      \_/  _/  -   __  -
} __/   \__/   \ \__     \\__           /  \_//  _ _ \  \     __  /  \____
}  __    \  /     \ \_   _//_\___     _/    //           \___/  \/     __/
} /_______\________\__\_/________\_ _/_____/_____________/_______\____/___
}                                    /|\
}                                   / | \       _____ ____
}                                  /  |  \      \    V   /
}     THE RO4D T0 B1FFN3SS!!!!    /   |   \      | R00T  |
}                                /    |    \     |  666  |     +---------+
}     ALL MUST TR4V3L 1T        /     |     \    \___ ___/     | B1FF    |
}                              /      |      \       V         | R00LZ!! |
}     SUMD4Y!!!!!!!!          /       |       \      |       o +---------+
}                            /        |        \     |      o
}                           /         |         \    |   |\__/|  .~    ~.
}                          /          |          \   |   /o=o'`./      .'
}                         /           |              |  {o__,   \    {
}                        /            |                   / .  . )    \
}                       /             |                   `-` '-' \    }
}                                     |                  .(   _(   )_.'
}                                     |                 '---.~_ _ _|
 

I haven't had a daily girlfriend for a 

while, and these posts explain why...